


Nomin Au

by Andrea250



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: AU, Abuse, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Prostitution, Angst, First NCT Fanfic, I am sorry to Jaemin, M/M, Misery Loves Company, Nomin nation, Nomin one shots, Open Ending?, Roommates, Unrequited Love, Will have more tags later, do not know how to tag, jealous jeno, maybe? - Freeform, mentioning of rape, short update, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 00:33:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28804350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andrea250/pseuds/Andrea250
Summary: This is my first Nomin fanfic and NCT fanfic please go easy on me. I am placing all my writings for this ship here.
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	1. Read Handed (Nomin Ver.)

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This is just a work of fiction and nothing more!
> 
> Trigger warning for this chapter: Mention of rape, abuse, and mention of homophobia. 
> 
> Please read with caution tho it is not strong but those themes are in the fic. 
> 
> I have written this fic before but for another pairing but changed things around to fit Nomin.
> 
> Enjoy.

**_ Song: Red Hands- The Dear Hunters _ **

**_ Jeno: _ **

**_ Jaemin: _ **

**_ 3rd Person's P.O.V: _ **

**_ Location: Jaemin's apartment: _ **

"Who are these men you keep hiding around with?!" He couldn't stomach the doubt or anxiety of the only one being in love in this relationship.

"Please listen, Jeno, it isn't what you think... I can explain it." The life drained from his face.

"Explain how! That you are using me or that you are sleeping with other people!" He went insane with grief and madness.

"You have to understand that this isn't it, Jeno." the younger is on his knees begging.

"Understand what? I caught you red-handed, and you want me to not fault you!" He scoffs at the man before him and his pathetic attempt.

"Just please listen to me!" He cries out in anger.

"Why I just saw you! Going with another man, and you want to lie through your teeth!" His nostrils flare, and his glare is like pins and needles.

"Let me explain Jeno, just stop and please listen!" The blonde never meant to hurt the man he truly loves.

"Do you pity me, or are you forcing yourself to love the thought of me?" He would not let up.

It was past midnight, and they are in the middle of a screaming match in the middle of Jaemin's living room. It is filled with shrills and explosions of emotions... this was not supposed to happen, not like this.

"I do love you and only you, Lee Jeno!" Jaemin sobs as the red hair man destroy his living room. He is throwing frames and flipping furniture, trying to let out his aggression, which caused the frightened male to flinch and close his eyes.

He loves Jaemin with his whole being, it is just this betrayal that came out of the left field, and he didn't know how to fathom the thought of what he just found out.

"Than why did you?" He looked at the man as though he had found out that his lover killed his family and puppy, is that much hurt and pain.

"I am a prostitute!" He couldn't handle the anger and agonizing assumptions of ever betraying Jeno like that.

"What?" That got him to shut up for a little.

"I never told you because I love you... I am so ashamed of what I do, it is not ideal, but it gets the bills paid and puts food on the table. I don't have any other means of income, and so I sell myself... is that what you wanted to hear!" He looks at the floor in shame and disgust as tears well into his eyes.

He never wanted his lover to find out about his profession... this unflattering fact about himself... is something he never wants anyone close to him to know. He never wanted this life, but it was the only thing he could do once his parents found out he is gay, so his parents threw him out and told him to never come back unless he is ready to be apart of the family and marry a woman.

That day was one of the worse days of his life.

"You are what..." He didn't know what to say, still blinded by possessive tendencies and anger, he pulls the slightly smaller man off the floor.

What his insecure lover does next is cheap, and he made the same age man feel cheap, and the man knew it! He intended to hurt the blonde man wanting to make him feel the way he feels about finding out what Jaemin does... jealousy is wreaking havoc in his thoughts, and not know if he can stop.

"Take off your sweater, your shoes, and your shirt, and get to work." He pulls the other man into a rough kiss.

The pain and hurt make him see red and takes over his control without his permission, and he rips into Jaemin's clothes and pulling them off.

"Stop it, Jeno, please!" Jaemin's eyes widen in horror as he tries to push the older man off him.

He still doesn't listen.

He is tearing each piece of cloth, one by one, causing the younger man to be terrified.

"Please stop!" He screams and pleads, his voice raw and scared, and he is shell shocked at what happens next.

"Why I have the money... you can just take it from me, this no different from those men you cater to! Why don't you just take it from me?" He starts to kiss and bite on the man's snow-white skin claiming his territory.

"Stop it, please, Jeno, you are hurting me!" His heart is pounding... it feels like he is about to die if it keeps going at a hundred miles per second speed.

"I am good for it!" His words come out spiteful and hateful.

He is trapped underneath the man, pinned to the couch, and won't let up. Causing the slightly weaker male to freak out, panting and shifty eyes, setting him into fight or flight mode.

"I thought you love me?" Jeno screams as he rips the man's sweat pants open, and the younger can't take this horror show anymore.

"I do... but not like this, Jen, you are scaring me!" He manages to knee the distracted man in the balls.

The action causes him to fall and cup his manhood, allowing Jaemin to get up from the couch, moving far from his wounded lover. Trying to create a safe and fleeting distance.

"I want you out, now just take your shit and go, Jeno, please go!" He is crying, which is a heartbreaking sight.

His boyfriend, rolling back and forth, as the pain slowly brings him back to the reality of it all, what he was about to do. Realizing his actions, he was about to enact against his delicate and caring lover.

The younger's breathing becomes uneven, trying to stop the splitting headache to overcome his vision in hues of flashing and splotchy white colors, as though flash going off of cameras.

His arms the only form of decency as he is only wearing his boxers, and even then, it feels too provocative. As though he is being violated, it is disgusting, and he feels used. He could separate his job and what he does, but what the man he loves did to him and was going to do to him.

This act made him feel as though Jeno is just another man, who he meets, and makes him feel less human and more like a rag doll or someone that can be easily discarded! This is not like the kind and shy man he knew.

No, this man is a stranger!

Jeno slowly comes back from an incapacitated state, taking a moment to grasp his surroundings, the older's sense is fully functioning, kicking him in the face. Clear as nightfall, all of it comes full circle back to bite him in the ass.

"Oh my god, what have I done?" He asks himself as he looks at his lover on the other side of the room with the look of terror in his earthly hues.

"I am so sorry this isn't me, Jaemin... I didn't-." He runs a shaky hand through his crimson locks, and he tugs hard till he feels his scalp detaching from his body, it feels like pins and needles, but he deserves more pain. He screams in anguish as he could not fathom his sins.

"I am sorry!" He rocks back and forth, knees pressed against his chest and his clothes rumpled and wrinkled... this isn't him.

He would never intentionally hurt the man he loves... this isn't him... this wasn't supposed to happen. He sobs at the actions that almost took place. This is even low for him.

He was about to rape his own boyfriend, he was gonna take him without mercy, and his lover begged and begged for him to stop. But he didn't, and he has never been more disgusted and horrified of himself.

"Please forgive me, Jaem! I didn't mean it!" he would never lay a hand or harm a hair on Jaemin's body, he is not a violent person, and he has never been.

Yet he did.

"Get out of my house! I want you gone, Jeno." he cough as his lungs are clouded.

"Please listen! I didn't mean it... I am so sorry, it was never my intention, and I promise this isn't me." He cries more.

He wasn't in the right state of mind. He would never say those words or do what he did. How could he have done that to his lover? It is like whiplash, this action is forceful and violent, and this time a simple sorry won't cover the wounds he left.

Jaemin felt numb inside... he couldn't or wouldn't cry. It was like time had stopped, and he is left to himself. Isolated and closed off, and his mind tried to process the assault... he is too afraid of looking at his lover just as equally terrified.

"You know this isn't me Jaemin, I am so sorry!" His breath hitches, and he is a stuttering mess.

Jaemin is afraid to give in, it would not be a wise decision, but he loves his boyfriend so much that he might be willing to overlook it. Is love enough? Can they move on from this, or will they end up in another grudge match where they can't take back anything? Once the first blow is delivered head-on and unannounced, it would just be another betrayal... it would never end.

He goes to the same age male and hugs him, trying his best to create a blanket of comfort and protection. It was an accident. He couldn't blame his boyfriend... it was a simple accident, a mistake that took place with no ill intent.

Jaemin pulls his crying lover close, soothingly runs a gentle hand up and down his protruding spine, and whispers words of love and comfort to him. "It is okay, love, Jeno-ah, I know you didn't mean it."

"Don't cry, love, it is okay... I promise." He tries to soothe the distraught man, running his hand gently across his shaking body. Gentle caring hand, rubbing Jeno's left shoulder gently creating tiny circles with his thumb.

"I love you ." He kisses the man's temple.

As the older of the two, sobs breaks his heart even more, and he feels guilt. "I am sorry... I don't know what happen Jaemin, thank you for forgiving me. I don't deserve your forgiveness" he pulls his lover into a hug.

"Don't worry about it, Jeno." He tried to convince not only his lover but himself.

He just had to look past this just like the other times... The blonde male knows his lover is not a violent person, and this is just another rough patch... right?

He knows Jeno loves him... it is okay, this is just a minor set back, and they will get through this. He can look past this one again. He never means it... this isn't like Jeno because he isn't a violent person.

**_ -The End _ **


	2. U Don't See Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I have another au but a short one. This one has ZERO TW and so no worries, I will always mention beforehand if a chapter has sensitive topics just incase. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this update!

__

_**Song: 3 Libras- A Perfect Circle** _

_**Jeno:** _

  
_**Jaemin:** _

_**3rd Persons P.O.V:** _

He had made it known time and time again always manages to escape from his most favorite person in the whole universe, the true nature of the art

major's feelings. It stings like a dagger that kisses flesh and, as quickly as the target is about to meet its bullseye. It seems to shift its course, and he internally simmers with frustration.

Does he know and does not show it?

Does he even care?

Or is he just that oblivious!

Why must Na Jaemin suffer at the

unknowing hands of Lee Jeno? Yet, without a doubt, no denying, the bunny-like boy still follows through with a heavy heart knowing that his sincere best friend does not share his unwavering love and that right there! That is the reason why he is doomed to live with heartache.

Lee Jeno will never see him in that way ever! That knowledge alone stung. It felt raw and opened for infection, and his hopeful spirit... slowly shattering, almost undone from lack of confidence. He gently sighs for the fifth time in a row, an unknown ache in his chest, and gawks out his bedroom window... wondering when his roommate will be home or if he was with her again?

He held no hate for the head cheerleader Jaemin didn't have it in his heart to feel contempt for the woman... not at all, he actually found her humorous and kind-hearted. There is just some part of him that envied the soft-spoken girl.

This Just made him seethe! The ugly green hair monster, known as jealousy, reared its head because she has someone that Jaemin could never have. That person is Lee Jeno, that information is something he could never possess, and it fills him with despair.

He never meant to fall in love with his childhood companion was an honest mistake well it couldn't be when in his own heart that loving the other felt almost right! Yet, his mind went hazy and into the deep as he lost his way, trying to figure out what this entails and what it means to love someone that will never see you.

He is a masochist literally is no shred of doubt he loves the Pre-med student with his whole being. To the point, he would voluntarily and knowingly allow the brunette to continue to rob him of his love. No matter how much his heartache with betrayal and anger... his love for the blonde never deteriorated.

So, when he decided to stay up past midnight, waiting for his roommate and friend to arrive safely home from his date with his girlfriend again. At that moment, in this time and place, it made the man realize. He will never have the other, in any lifetime, no matter how many times his heart desired for more so selfishly it shook him to his very core! He would never be the one that could make Lee Jeno dizzy with delight or hum with content, would never be Na Jaemin!

" Jaem, I am going to ask her to move in... I think she is the one! Is it crazy to think that she is my destiny?" The reserved male had never been filled with such radiance and energy.

The doe-eyed boy almost wants to cry, but he knew that when his heart picked his long-time friend, it was never a guarantee, the fates would never aline to that of Jeno, and a part of him went numb.

"No, Jen, no it isn't" Jaemin put on the biggest smile he could muster in the saddest moment to ensure that the love of his life... could go through with his ending.

When you love someone... music will play, your head filled with silly love songs. Your heart will beat with the name of them, your smile will shine with that of a thousand suns over, and your palms will sweat with anticipation of wondering if you will see them next!

That person is her in Lee Jeno's world.

For that person is Lee Jeno in Na Jaemin's world... which will be no more.

_**-The End** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you, everyone, I hope you liked this one and I will continue to do better with every update. 
> 
> I always welcome feedback and have a good night everyone, keep it weird and see you all later. 
> 
> -AndreaXx


	3. 6 AM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is a product of writer's block... I am sorry

  
  
  
**_ Song: 6 AM- Fitz and the Tantrums _ **

**_ Jeno: _ **

  
**_ Jaemin: _ **

  
**_ 3rd Person's P.O.V: _ **

Endless nights and bad cups of coffee, no words for how his heart craves for the older, he slowly falls into the addition. He didn't mean those words, and how carelessly he spoke about the latter it was an act of anger and ruthless pride... Na Jaemin is shameless.

So petty and a bit of a ditz at times and best cruel without thought, he didn't think Jeno would care? He never did before... things change with time, and the brunette knew how to push all the right buttons to cause detonation.

Na Jaemin can be a selfish prick, irrevocably head-strong, and spunky also has a wicked tongue that could silence any opposing views. Yet, he at times can be like a needy kitten, sensitive, easily hurt, affectionate, and fierce when it comes to those he cares most about.

The agitated man could not get a wink of sleep trying everything from melatonin pills to herbal concoctions. Last resort to just drinking copious amounts of alcohol... not the brightest idea as he despised the damn stuff!

So what is left?

He didn't think he needed the older by his side to bring him comfort and serenity... he is foolish yet again.

He tosses and turns under the rigid sheets, trying to find some sort of peace, but all he does is become unbearably irritated by the lack of sleep. His heart became unchanged by this tidbit of information, only causing the deprived male more confusion as he huffs and groans out of frustration.

 _This is so fucking stupid!_ Jaemin runs a shaky hand through his greasy blonde locks.

Jeno and Jaemin are currently on a break from one another indefinitely... and he thought that maybe the problem is their routine? Maybe, Jeno was suffocating his wild-spirit, or they just became too comfortable? He didn't account for the fact that Jeno is not as strong or confident as he comes off... the majority of the time. In reality, he is easily wounded by the things Jaemin does or says, and he does have real feelings and can shed tears like everyone else.

But Jaemin is jaded by the passive male's willingness to let go and move on. Not one to dwell on such petty things and easily like a light switch, turn into the gentle-giant that Jaemin knows and loves. He wanted to poke the sleeping beast mercilessly, always doing stuff that could flush out those ugly feelings inside the puppy-like male.

Through many tactics, from acting flirty, being late to Jeno's important events. Or blowing off their plans/dates, neglecting the man, and being awful to others that try to even strike up a conversation just to be kind. Anything that would get a reaction out of his ever-loving boyfriend, Jeno, was an easy target for the younger man. To Jaemin, it is a well thought out plan, and his ill-tempered boyfriend fell into his trap.

Going as far as to bad mouth him to a coworker who wouldn't stop eyeing _his_ boyfriend. Without realizing that Jeno could hear all those awful and hurtful words about the older man. He didn't mean any of those things. None! He royally fucked up, not expecting this relationship to make it past three weeks, let alone three and half years! So, when Jeno asked Jaemin to move in, he said yes, and became sickly sweet domesticated partners that were becoming the carbon copy of the perfect house and life.

With the two dogs, a white picket fence, children, and having one big happy fucking family. But, it began to terrify the younger companion... it brought more uncertainty. He couldn't escape that gnawing feeling that maybe this isn't what he wants.

So, he made up crazy thoughts and ideas about the lover, wondering when he will get bored of Jaemin. Figuring out there is better people than him. So, he became upset whenever Jeno tried to make things better or became more understanding. The older of the two did not get so rilled up the way he is.

He didn't think Jeno would be here for the long run... he always tends to flee before things became too real for him.

Growing up in a broken home and seeing how his parents played with love never really made for a great relationship. He didn't bother to mention any of the horror stories he lived through or his abandonment issues... he didn't want to come off as damaged goods.

The raven-haired male became his home, somewhat of a confidant, for a broken boy that was tucked away, reserved, and guarded. Became prominent in Jaemin's doubts and conflicts when Jeno started to become distant and uninterested in him, in _them_ anymore... so he did those stupid things for the older's attention.

He knows it is beyond stupid and childish. His communication skills are not his strong point. Just more convenient for him to internalize all the terrible things and make it about him because what else could make the older act that way?

He needs a culprit, someone to take the fall, so he got one, jealousy and anger, it all got the better of him. Reason and common sense got tied up and beaten up to the point. The two were not coherent to drive anymore... basically, the two ugly and irrational emotions took over, raising the speed from zero to sixty in nano-seconds. He is fucked!

The self-destruction begins, and though the older is strong, reliant, and indestructible, and too forgiving. Jaemin forgot Jeno has his limits, and the younger of the two went over the speed limit and unleashed hell.

Jeno wanted to marry the insufferable boy... Jaemin looked past the man's acts and intentions for something they weren't. He screwed up their relationship because he does not know how to have a fully functional and healthy relationship.

**_ Flashback: _ **

**_ "What the fuck!" Jeno wanted to surprise the music teacher with a cute lunch date because he felt guilty for ignoring his lover, didn't expect the man to be so callous and insulting. _ **

**_ "What?" The younger acted densely. _ **

**_ "Don't you dare act dumb with me!" The health and wellness teacher vehement. _ **

**_ "What did you tell Mina all those things about me?" The new history teacher (or well... five months new) was becoming a real bothersome in Jaemin's relationship. _ **

**_ "I didn't say anything..." He tries to act cute but only furthers to upset the man. _ **

**_ "I am not stupid and, I heard what you said... my question is why the fuck would you tell her all that stuff about me?" Jeno becomes deathly silent and fuming like crazy at his unwillingness to be truthful. _ **

**_ "Why do you care what she thinks of you?" He snaps back with a new temper. _ **

**_ "She is a fellow teacher and new friend whom I come to appreciate... but more importantly, it came from my boyfriend." He became teary-eyed and disappointed. _ **

**_ "If you wanted a break... you should have been honest instead of bad-mouthing me to others and being a two-faced liar." He couldn't believe the man could be so low. _ **

**_ "Are you fucking?" He was more than upset by his lover's earlier words than his feelings. _ **

**_ "Is that what you got from this?" He felt like a bucket of ice-cold water was throw on him. _ **

**_ "That can be the only pausable explanation to why you are so upset as well as your current behavior lately!" Thank god it was lunchtime, and none of his students decided to hang out in his classroom today. _ **

**_ "You are unfucking believable, Na Jaemin! First off, Mina is a lesbian, secondly. Did you forget I am gay, not bi like you, and thirdly, she is kind enough to help me find the right way to propose to you!" He tries to hold back his rage, but his heart continued to silently break in two. _ **

**_ "She told me that you were saying weird things about me to her... I didn't believe it until now! How could you?" He was so puzzled by the other's behavior, but it all made sense to him, came full circle, why he has been acting the way he has. _ **

**_ "You wanted to marry me?" Jaemin is startled by the confession. _ **

**_ "I am not so sure anymore... if you were so desperate to leave! You should have been honest." Silent tears poured down. _ **

**_ "Jeno, I didn't mean any of that!" He is such an idiot! _ **

**_ "Then why?" Jeno couldn't wrap his head around it, and Jaemin is still a mystery to him again. _ **

**_ "I thought you were cheating on me... I was scared, okay!" Jaemin didn't know how to convert those fears. Of being left behind by the older man or being the only one in love... that he did all of those silly things out of love. _ **

**_ He was tired of Jeno brushing things off and not being affected by Jaemins behavior in the same way Jeno affects his. He didn't think, and that is his problem because- unlike him. The raven-haired man is above those things and more confident of their relationship than he is. _ **

**_ "Why would you think that? How could you!" He was puzzled by the younger's accusations. _ **

**_ "What are you scared of Jaemin to make you act this way for the last two months?" He thought this phase would pass, but it turned out it was more serious- than he thought. _ **

**_ "I am sorry, Jeno." He felt crippled by the heartache of his own actions and ridiculous fears. _ **

**_ "I think we need some space. I will be staying at Mark and Lucas's place... please don't bother trying to contact me for right now but realize that your actions have not only ruined our relationship. but I don't know who you are." He glared coldly at the tearful male before him. _ **

**_ "Jeno- please let's talk this through!" Jaemin didn't want a break. All he wanted was for Jeno to hug him and reassure him that things are okay between them. _ **

**_ "You had multiple chances to bring up these things instead, you lashed out and resorted to such childish acts, and I need a partner, not a child. I want to grow old with you, but if you have no confidence in my fidelity... I think we need some time away because I rushed you into something you are clearly not up for." He is devastated by today's revelation. _ **

**_ "I am scared, Jen-" _ **

**_ "Scared of what Jaem!" Jeno didn't want to hear any more excuses. _ **

**_ "I-I-I don't know how to explain, but if you give me a second to explain," The bell signaling the end of lunch rang through the halls. _ **

**_ "I got to go Jaemin, I will pick up some stuff tomorrow... so please don't be there... It is hard walking away... don't make it more difficult." He takes his leave and taking Jaemin's heart with him. _ **

**_ End of Flashback: _ **

It has been almost seven months since the incident, and still no calls or texts... Jaemin thought he could be on his own again and didn't need Jeno. Became too prideful, didn't want to seem weak or at fault... because though he knows he fucked up. Na Jaemin hates being wrong more than anything else, and so he swallows his apology like it is cough syrup and smiles like it doesn't hurt.

He misses the warmth and comforts the man brought to him, the empty side of his bed becoming more known as the days pass, and it is driving him insane. He puts on the radio, now six in the morning, and the love song words fill his heart cuz all he hears is a sad song and love he might not ever get back.

So he sips his god awful cup of coffee and pushes away the feelings of regret to face another day. Having to watch Jeno from afar and pretending that things don't hurt and Jeno isn't the reason for another restless night and heart.

For he will always love Lee Jeno, but he doesn't know if the older feels the same, and it hurts... but he deserves it all.

Every moment they spent apart only reinforces in his mind that Jaemin will never be worthy of love or happiness. He knows, somewhere in the back of his mind, that broken people like him... aren't meant for such things.

He should have run before Jeno did.

**_ -The End _ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry for this shitty fic but I was in writer's block and I needed to power through it. So this is the product of said block... I am sorry everyone.
> 
> -AndreaXx

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I said it in my other fanfic, different pairings, I will say it here again I do not believe in romanticizing this kind of love, as it is not love to me and never will be. I got inspired by this song and nothing more also ABUSE IS NOT LOVE!!!
> 
> You or someone you know that has an abusive partner please leave and don't allow anyone to treat you that way ever, you are important and you do matter, with all the love in my heart I hope you know you are strong and can leave!
> 
> I welcome feedback and I am happy to do requests. 😊
> 
> -AndreaXx


End file.
